I'm not one who enjoys drawing attention to himself. I'm always the type of person that tends to stay near the edges at any kind of social gathering. I would much rather listen to a conversation by two other people than create one on my own. There are few things that will push me away from a party faster than the word "charades". I don't think I'm alone in this, and I would even go so far as to suggest that there may be at least three other people in the state of Utah who share this opinion. I know, I may be going out on a bit of a limb by suggesting this, but I say it with a large level of confidence. I have often wondered whether it was nature or nurture that made me this way, but the topic of this long-overdue post will be exploring this topic.
As an aside, one of the reason I don't write on the blog much anymore is because I rarely feel like I have good ideas for topics. My major purpose for this blog is to give people a look into the way I think, which I'm told is "unique". I'm writing this as I watch the majority of my family play a charades-like game whilst on vacation. It is moderately ridiculous, but it is highly entertaining from my viewpoint, so I figured this was as good a reason as any to write. To warm you up for what's about to come, here's a joke:
Q: "How do you catch a unique rabbit?"
A: "It doesn't matter because life is meaningless" - Kierkegaard.
Heh. Existentialism is funny.
So, charades and attention seeking (That's the name of this post!) I come from a family of vastly differing personalities. There are those who love being in the spotlight, the comedians, the emotional, the intelligent, the social, the opinionated (as a disclaimer, I don't think one person in my family is embodied by one of these characteristics, so stop taking offense, Steve). While I may embody some of those characteristics listed, I feel like one of the more dominant traits I possess is that of being looked over. That's a trait, right?
What I mean is that I always want to fly under the radar. I like to go about my business and not draw attention to myself. As a child, I would watch my older siblings get in trouble with the parental unit, and I would then make a strong effort to either not do that observed activity, or at least do a better job at covering my tracks.
At work, I'm the same way. I prefer to do my work and not draw attention to my work. I had an encounter with a coworker. He was supervisor for the group with which my group works in close connection. He was showing a new employee around and introducing the new employee to everyone. He came to my cubicle and introduced me, and then he proceeded to explain what I do. After he was done, I injected "I work behind the scenes," and he then said, "Some day you'll need to work in the scene if you want to move up." My response: "And what if I don't care about moving up....." Granted, I believe this response was mostly in my head.
As a side story, does this happen to anyone else: You are walking somewhere, someone asks you a question, you mentally respond, but you never actually respond? Anyone?
I like to consider myself as familial infrastructure. I do what I'm expected to do, and people accept it as normal. I don't really do things that are considered noteworthy, and so I probably don't come up in conversation a ton. That's how I like it.
The problem I have found with this behavior is that in dating, one of the first things that you're supposed to do is set yourself apart from the other suitors. There's pressure to be creative, to stimulate intellectual conversation (but not on a first date, I have found. Apparently it's bad form to discuss my theories on why I think online dating falls short...when on a date with someone I met online), and be charming and witty. I may, at times, be able to fulfill some of the previously stated requirements, but I will admit creativity in dating isn't really...me. Some of these requirements may be due to societal pressures, and some may even be fabricated entirely in my mind (like Steve). I will be reliable. I will do my best to be respectful, but I don't peacock. In fact, I will watch people peacock, and I will just laugh at them....all the way to their wedding dinner.
So, where am I going with this? There's a good chance that if you know the answer to that question, you're already ahead of me. I'm considering this blog post a warm up, since I haven't done it recently, but don't get false hope: most of my posts usually end the same way one of my recent dates ended...with my words kind of just trailing off until they stop, and the post/date ends.
So, if you read this far, I'm sorry because your night must not have a lot going on. What did this post start by talking about? I don't know, but I sure am hungry.
To the fridge!
