I'll show YOU a super power...

I would submit that one of the most widely propagated questions that people tend to ask, one that is appropriate under any circumstance whether it be a birthday party, a church service, or a date, is the question: if you could have any super power, what would it be and why? Now, I have come up with the ultimate answer to this question, and that is that I would have the ability to control both gravitational and electromagnetic forces because...well...I could basically do anything. BUT, that's not the point of my post. Some of the other answers include flight, shape-shifting, and even mind reading. It is about the last one that I'm going to write.

Now, what is it about mind reading that is appealing to so many people? I mean, I think it would be kind of annoying. think about it: could you control when you read minds? I mean, I don't really want to be hearing about what the guy at Denny's* thinks about his Grand Slam or the diabolical thoughts that the person helping me at KFC may be having. I mean, I know one things for sure. I've had KFC enough to know that if I were to ever work there, the only thoughts I would have when a guy comes in for a family size bucket of Chicken probably wouldn't be the most...well, if you just had some flash of the type of comments that may run through my mind, there's a good chance that you need to start thinking nicer things. Another thing that could be potentially annoying would be the types of minds that could be read. I mean, think about it, what if all you could do is read the mind of an animal? There might be something particularly alluring about repeatedly hearing the barking of a dog but only in your MIND...then again, you might be kind of screwed up.

On a more general note, basically any super power could be annoying. I mean, if someone were to come up to you and could actually grant you a wish of any super power, you better be very careful how you phrase the wish. I mean, everyone's probably seen a show where someone makes a wish and it ends up working out horribly for them. Think about it. Let's say I wished that I could fly, but I wasn't specific on how or when. Imagine the embarrassment I would feel if I were in the middle of taking a test and just randomly flew upwards rapidly into the ceiling, got knocked unconscious, started bleeding out of my head 'n stuff, and woke up with the entire class huddled around me. That would be awful...buuuuuut, then again, maybe I could get a date out of it. The plot thickens...

All in all, I think the fact that people wish they could read minds is largely due to the habit people have developed of..not...talking. Now, I know some people are going to be all like "Ben, you text more than anyone I know! How can you say we need to talk more." And to that I say: grow up. In all seriousness though, I strongly believe that if people would be more honest with each other, there would be less of that science-fictiony desire to read minds.

The morals of this story are as follows:

1) Don't wish to be able to read dogs minds

2) Be careful about flying people in your science class. They could be bewitched.

3) Richie, eat your crust.

4) Always, and I mean ALWAYS, brush your teeth.

and

5) If you do possess the power to fly, always use it to your benefit with the lady folk. Just sayin...