The Call of the Champions

I have received much...many much...criticism for the sheer amount of time I spend playing video games. This post is dedicated to all you who have doubted the way I choose to spend my time.

I guess the best way to discredit the arguments against my habit of gaming is to take a quick look at the arguments against it. I think one of the major arguments comes as a result of some people completely enveloping themselves in the virtual world. This tends to come primarily as a result of playing real-time role playing games, such as world of warcraft. I don't know if anyone has actually played W.o.W. (admittedly, I have twice), but it is boring garbage. I mean, one of the reasons I play video games is because it gives me a slight illusion that I'm accomplishing something in a fraction of the time it would take in real life. I mean, if I can build an ore refinery in Command and Conquer in 2 minutes....I mean, take that industry because it'll take you months upon months. Sure, it won't produce anything "REAL" but the sense of accomplishment is still there. These real-time games, where things happen at the same rate that they would, are just a massive waste of time; I don't care how many marsh bats you can kill in a minute, your level 3 firebolt spell will do nothing against my AK-47. Just saying. That being said, all you haters need not worry about me becoming intensively invested in a virtual reality. But, as a bit of an aside, here's the level to which this investment can go: World of World of Warcraft.

The extent that I went into these real time role playing games was Diablo...the original. There was something strangely fulfilling about finding Arkthereon's Warhammer with +3 to light aura and finally banishing Baal to the third ring of Hell. Only a fraction of people will know what I'm talking about, but yeah, you know what I'm talking about. But that's it...and that was years ago.

Nowadays, the fun lies in First-person shooters. I should correct myself, these have been big since Goldeneye. If you don't know what that is, I recommend you go re-live the latter half of the '90s. Followed by Perfect Dark, and then I moved on to Halo 2 (I skipped Halo 1...just in the same way you should skip the first generation model of any new product...or anything by Apple), and then after my mission I discovered Call of Duty and my life hasn't been the same since. Some of you may call the change that has overtaken me "being desensitized," but I beg to differ. I still can't watch some brutally violent movies without throwing up a little in my mouth, but these war style games are different. I have never felt so involved in national security as I did when retaking the White House from those dang Russkis (however you spell it. And that may have been an exaggeration).

Another thing is that people see me play and think I must have spent a long, long time playing a video game to develop the skills I have, but I'll have you know, I learn things quickly. While others were still trying to figure out that the controls from the y-axis weren't actually inverted, I was working on...killing them and laughing hysterically...because that's just the kind of person I am.

To end, let me just say this: I am fully aware that video games aren't the BEST use of my time. That's nothing new. It's a time-killer, so while I'm waiting for that date that never seems to happen, I'll keep rescuing Soap MacTavish from a certain death, and you can READ...or whatever you nerds do.

From Great Heights

Some have been known to say "practice makes perfect." If that's the case, then I'm about 30 years from being able to walk the trail to Angel's Landing in Zion's National Park blindfolded. Don't misunderstand me, I don't mean to incline anyone that being able to hike that trail without the aide of sight is a high priority in my life (Hence the 30 year deadline). All I'm saying is that for the past three years in a row, I, along with my fraternity, have made a Spring Break trip to St. George, and with the trip comes a day-trip to Zion's and a hike to Angel's Landing. For anyone who hasn't made that jaunt (no, it's MUCH more than a jaunt...I just like how that word sounds), I would highly recommend it. It...is....awesome.


This is a view from the top of the hike. What you can't see, however, is the journey. Any words I could write wouldn't do it justice, but it's intense. There's roughly a 2500 ft. increase throughout the course of about a mile and a half (about). If you ever want to know what it feels like to LITERALLY (not literally) have your calf muscles on fire, this is definitely a good start. A little (long) while ago, I wrote about the behaviors of some of the people in my fraternity, and the same people definitely surprised me on this hike. At the summit, there's a very, very large cliff on 3 sides of you. Common sense would dictate caution under such circumstances. Perhaps it's something about youth, but certain of the younger fellows I know thought it would be a good idea to run and jump around. One even went so far as to throw a rather large rock from the top. Was there really an immediate danger about doing such a thing? No, probably not, BUT I've taken physics. The energy he has to transfer into that rock in order to throw it has to be negated by a backwards force on him. If there were any chance that throwing the rock could move me in any way for any reason, and if I had a thousand foot fall on either side of me, there's a good chance I wouldn't do it. Call me overly-cautious, but that's just how I roll. All I could do was shake my head.

Another thing that permeates society is that dependence on any substance trends negatively (I don't really know what that means either). In other words, if we are dependent on any external substance, it's bad. I learned something on this hike, however. There are instances where dependence on something external in this hike is nothing short of required. You probably can't see it very well, but there's a ridge in the photo to the left. Basically, you're scaling the lip of the ridge with drops on either side, holding on to chains that have been mounted in the mountain, and you're holding on for DEAR LIFE. Granted, I don't think it's stuff like this that they're referring to when people say dependencies, but I think it fits. Yes, I do. and you can't do anything about it.


There's something about hikes that makes me impatient. I love the journey about a hike. I love the scenery, but, most of all, I love the feeling of accomplishment created by reaching the summit. What I don't like, however, is the trip back. I mean, I've already been here today! If i could find a hike that didn't involve doubling back for the return, that would....I don't know...be cool...Until then, I've discovered a good way to make the return journey a bit more enjoyable for myself: running. It doesn't matter how steep the trail is (yes it does. There is no way in...you know...that I would run down the face of a cliff I had to climb with the help of chains), running makes the return journey go by faster, and it adds a whole other dimension in the...thing. Yeah. I forgot what I was saying.


I'm all about balance. If I spend time one day eating nothing but sweets, I begin to crave something salty. If I eat too much meat, I begin wanting vegetables. If I spend all day listening to Josh Groban, I....listen to....The Used...? (I don't know what the opposite of Josh Groban is). ANYWAY, the burning invoked in my calves by the journey to the summit created an imbalance in my lower extremities. What's the best way to counter that? Oh, well, how about that, it's by running down the trail. If you've never run downhill for a mile and a half, I would strongly recommend it. The jelly-like feeling created in your quads is like...awesome. I dont' know how to describe it, but it feels like someone LITERALLY (not literally) injected a pint of pudding into each of my legs. If that doesn't create an image you really want to forget, but for some reason can't, I don't know what will. It is awesome.


Here's the moral of the story:
1) Don't throw rocks from high places, because the rock will push you backwards and you will fall and die.
2) If you're going to become dependent on anything, make it be chains while scaling a cliff. Just saying.
3) Not only is pudding great for eating, it's awesome when injected into the legs.
4) If you ever see or hear someone use the word literally, there's a good chance they didn't actually mean LITERALLY.
5) Ivan Drago is the greatest Movie villain ever (if you didn't catch that from my post, reread it. It's in there...somewhere)


Lastly, if you want to take a look at all the fun-ness had on the hike, here's a link to the pictures I took.


Angel's Landing '010

Daniel Radcliffe

So, I've been a bit ill these past few days, and, as a result, I'm been spending my time watching a very wide variety of movies. Star Wars, Chick Flicks, Disaster Movies, etc. I've seen things from a woman haplessly falling in an old mine shaft to the destruction of the Washington Monument. I must say, however, that nothing was more curious than something I noticed today. As you may be able to infer from the title of this post, it centers around one, Daniel Radcliffe. I hadn't taken the time to watch the first Harry Potter movie (for those unaware with the series, it's called Harry Potter and the Philanthropist's Throne...or something like that). The reasons for my not watching it are thusly: I remembered not liking it at all, and it gives me indigestion - Too much "wingardium leviosa" for me, if you know what I'm saying. But, being that I'm ill, I figured there couldn't be much more indigestion given, and I had nothing better to do. These were my findings (I don't know if you caught on to that last sentence, but I was meaning it to sound kind of like the thing it says on Law and Order - "This is their story" or whatever. I didn't say it was clever.):

By some weird twist of fate, possibly by repeated ventures into the twilight zone, Daniel Radcliffe seems to have gotten worse at acting with age. Not saying he's old, but you'd think that after 6 movies, he would have learned a thing or two. I'm definitely not saying he's the worst actor out there. I mean, few things are more entertaining than watching Ron Weasley's hyper-cowardice in the second movie. When the shot shows the writing in blood on the wall for the first time, there's definitely something popping, and it's not just Ron's eyes from the shock and awe of the situation. It's probably my...anger..gland or something.

Anyway, back to Daniel. There are certain things that children can get away with, especially when it's their first appearance in a major motion picture. I mean, look at Haley Joel Osment. His performance in Forrest Gump didn't compare with what he did in The Sixth Sense. Granted, the roles were a bit different, but let's be honest: what is the real difference between a wizard-in-training and someone who sees dead people anyway. I don't claim to be any type of movie critic, but Daniel's performance in the Phantasmal Phone was acceptable. But as he aged, his skills didn't, and, in my mind, that's the same as being worse. His cohorts in the movies seem to have improved, but MAYBE he was put under some spell where his skills would not progress until the curse is broken...possibly by falling in love (too cliche), or even if we destroy the jewel hidden in the underbelly of a mystical creature. Now there's a movie! You heard it here first, folks. I am going to free acting skills that have been captured from Daniel Radcliffe, and then we'll see who the real hero is. Voldemort, shmoldemort. I brought back something that people didn't even know existed.

The Alfalfa Male

I love my fraternity outings. As per my last count, I've been to at least seven of them, which I guess makes me old...relatively. Granted, half of the people who are calling me old are 18, but I like to say I'm "seasoned" when it comes to fraternity outings. There's one thing I wanted to dwell on for a moment, in reflection after this most recent pledge retreat, and that's the notion of competition.

As a general rule, guys tend to be pretty competitive. With most character attributes, when people get together in a group, certain characteristics cancel each other out, but the competitive nature of 18-24-year-old males amplify when in groups. For the most part, there comes a desire to prove to the rest of the group ones' dominance. Granted, with such a large group, there will be a wide assortment of personalities, so not EVERYONE is competing for the elusive title; there are some who simply sit back and chuckle at the guys who are trying to prove something. Well, I'll bring it back down a little bit more, when i say "there are some who...sit back," that's actually the majority of people. What I have found is that there are generally a handful of people who want to show everyone else how manly they are. Maybe it's fed by some inert desire to gain the approval of their peers. Perhaps it's contributed to by a subconscious questioning of their own manliness. I'm convinced that there is a type of person who simply just needs attention, and when they don't have attention, there's a little part of their self (possibly the gall bladder) that shrivels like a raisin. If there is anything an 18-year-old male wants less than a shriveled attention gland (the left kidney?), I would like to hear about it.

The moral of the story is not that men are attention starved beasts (Honestly, if you took that out of this, I'ma punch you), but the moral is more on an entertainment level. Next time you're in a big group of people, find the couple of guys who need to prove  that they are an alpha male. There's always at least one, and they usually stick out like a sore thumb (which, by the way, is an axiom that I've never really understood, but I do know it's apt. APT!). When you find them, just follow them the rest of the night, because you're guaranteed a night of better appreciation of what you are not, if you know what I'm sayin'.

TEEEEEEEEETH!

Okay, So I just had to add something. I started watching Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory, and I noticed something that I have never noticed before.  Yep. You got it right. Teeth. Everyone always comments on how bad the British..es? 's? teeth are, but this stuck out to me more than some things. Snaggle tooth to the max. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------^
Also, I have to comment on a few other things about the movie. First off, when Charlie is opening his birthday present and everyone is secretly expecting him to get the golden ticket, and he opens it and gasps, and then turns around and says, "I fooled you didn't I? I bet you thought I really had it." Now, he doesn't have a very playful tone in his voice when he says it, and he actually sounds rather depressed. That's just messed up. I don't know what was going through THOSE writers' minds, but that's just cruel. If that level of excitement were to pass through those grandparents' lives in real life, I'm pretty sure it would kill them. That's just rude.

Also, what's up with that Mike Teevee kid? When he's being interviewed after he found the ticket, he just randomly pulls out his toy gun and starts shooting. No, that's not all, after that he says "Just wait until I get a real one..." Now, it is just a child, but if that were to escape a child's mouth nowadays he would IMMEDIATELY be put into therapy...or anger management...or something. Awesome.

I love the old movies like this. Just makes your insides feel all warm and fuzz...but not fuzzy because that would be gross.

If wishes were fishes...

So I've been thinking the past couple days on something about which to write (I'm so good at grammar), but I've been drawing a blank. Let me take this moment to express a few things. First, I think it's kind of rude when people make me think a lot. I mean, it's not like I allocate a certain number of calories per day that I can burn thinking. I mean, seriously. There are a lot of other things I would rather spend my energy thinking about, like how I can improve my K/D ration rather than thinking about the rms-velocity of a nitrogen molecule. Also, other acceptable things to think about are as follows: how I can get more of my oreo in the milk without having to sacrifice finger dryness, how far I can walk away from my house and still have my wifi connected, or even how to get that blasted pack of hotdogs into the ziploc bag and NOT spill the juices.

Secondly, I sometimes just wish the weather would make up its mind....and yes, it has gotten to the point where I am talking about weather. Turns out the angels haven't been properly hydrating their scalps (that's my cute little analogy for snow, but it does make you want to think twice about catching a snowflake on your tongue.) This morning it was snowing very lightly as I walked to class, but if was PRRRREEEEETTY much melted by the time I was walking home. The only thing more capricious than the weather here is NEW JERSEYYYYY. Okay, that reference will be lost on 100% of people who read this.

Lastly, I'm getting really tired of this whole vampire phase that girls between the age of birth and 45 are going through. The first boundary of that range is PROBABLY too low, but I swear I heard my little niece talking about Edward...or Edgar....or Ruger. I'll tell you what, I wouldn't mind taking a Ruger to Edward. I'm hoping it passes soon because if there are any more vampire tv shows that come out, I'm going to flip a lid...I haven't decided which lid to flip, but I'm going to flip SOMETHING. You know, maybe I'll flip a couple lids...why not? I've got time, except it's being occupied by that solving that Oreo predicament.

So did anyone hear about the new update that Apple is putting out on all its devices: iPod, iPhone, and iPad are all included. It's called the iPatch, and it's supposed to remove all the PIRATED software. There's a reason I don't do comedy.

I'm constantly looking for new music, but I'm kind of picky. If anyone has any suggestions on some new music to look up, let me know. That is all.

What the...robot?

So I was recently watching Rocky IV, and I was reintroduced to one of the greatest director's decisions ever in all cinematic history. I picture the boardroom planning meeting going a little something like this. "So, Rocky has been winning boxing matches for a long time...we need something to show that he's 'with it.' Something that says: I am HIP!" "How about......he wears gold chains...." "Ummm, we're talking about Rocky, right? You do realize he's uber white." "yeah, yeah. Maybe he could get in touch with his 'soul' side." "OKAY, he's not going to wear ghetto pimp chains! Any other ideas?" "So, computers are getting pretty big. How about a computer?" "No, we need something more...not readily accessible by the public. What's better than computers?" "ROBOTS!" "BRILLIANT." and so they gave Rocky a robot...to give to Paulie....and Paulie falls in love with it. See what happens when you give lonely old men something that will talk to them?

But seriously, of all the unneeded aspects of movies, I think this one takes the cake. Yes, I'm even saying this is better than the fem-bot in Transformers 2 and WAY better than watching Vin Diesel sliding across an oil soaked floor while being shot at, and the oil on the floor magically doesn't ignite. Heck, I'll even say it's better than the iPad.

There he is...in all his majestic brilliance. Well, I guess I should say "she," since Paulie creepily programmed it to have a woman's voice...hence the falling in love part.

If anyone has any more unnecessary parts of film, please enlighten me.






I just want to close by saying: there's nothing more inspiring than watching a work-out montage with fantastic 80's music going on in the background. Rocky can outrun a car! And it would turn out that eerie looking Russian women have a thing for men that are lifting weights. Rocky ran to the top of the mountain! Take that Russia! Nothing can stop the Italian Stallion, not even your "mountains". Ptsh...child's play. GO AMERICA!