Elementary Goodness

Recent adventures in dodgeball have got me thinking...about things...of a simpler nature. I don't know if anyone else ever does this, but I have made a habit on thinking back on how great life was in elementary school. Sure, I know no where near what I know now, and I'd like to think I'm considerably more sociable now than I was (Although I'm sure there are people out there who would disagree), there were certain elements of life that were just...awesome, for lack of a better word. This post will be dedicated to exploring some of the aspects of life that have simply disappeared.

One word: tether-ball. Two words: is awesome. Yeah, I said it. I don't bring up tether-ball specifically to bring up tether-ball. I'm using it as a symbol of all those awesome games we used to play in elementary school. Like...hanging from the monkey bars...motionless...for hours. That wasn't a regular habit of mine, but I'm sure SOMEONE did it. Remember when hopscotch used to be fun? Remember when your feet could fit into those tiny squares? I sure do, and I miss it. What I would give for the size of feet I had then...but strangely paired with the 6 foot tall body I have now. That would be awesome. Sure, it may look like something out of some stupid horror film ("AHH! HE HAS.....small feet...?" That's how it would go.) Remember sliding down a 4 foot metal slide while standing up? I do, although I shouldn't. Let me put it this way: I found out then that metal gets excessively slippery when it's wet.

Recess. Yeah...not the TV show, although that still is fantastic. Have you ever thought back on recess? Did you think about the fact that it was 15 minutes long? Yeah. 15 Minutes. That's like....one and a half games of Modern Warfare. That's nothing now. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days when 15 minutes was an eternity. Not to mention the fact that by the time we got to the playground and organized soccer teams there was only 10 minutes left. But it was awesome! Why was it awesome!? I don't know that answer yet, but I'm trying to figure it out.

I'm just going to say: work load. Nuff said.

Lastly, I loved how simple the inter-person interaction was. Boys were afraid of girls, and this, for some reason, empowered girls. They must have known that we, at that young age, had yet to develop our immunity to cooties (some of us are still working on that immunity.) I'm still convinced that cooties are real. At that age, they repulsed us, but somewhere between then and now, there occurred an re-polarization of our cooties receptors, and cooties happen to be the thing that draw men to women. Some call them "hormones." I'm convinced that's just a fancy name for cooties. Yes. If you're not careful, they could still infect you. The thing I've never figured out regarding that is: how come only boys were sensitive to them? Could this be because guys don't have them? We all know, as learned from The Simpsons, that cooties come from the girl's butt. That's just science. I don't know....just something to think about.

Oh yeah, and the clearly racially insensitive Power Rangers. Think about it.

Anyway, elementary school was awesome. I want part of it back...but not all of it. I think I'll survive without the 8:30 bedtime.