Summer...thyme?

Yes, I along with everyone in the techno-frenzied world, am dedicating a post to the coming of Summer (sometimes I wish that phrase took on a more feminine meaning. And just so we're clear, I didn't mean that the world is crazy about digital beats and high pitched screetching noises, coupled digitally modified one-liners--you know, techno music--but about technology. I guess it would have been a lot easier for me to say that straight up, but where's the fun in that? Also, I like pie.) A lot of people are probably spending their time writing about the sun and warmth and the beach. Sure, those things are nice and all, but they're not the reason for which I'm writing this post. I am intendning to dedicate this post specifically to one of the lesser known wonders of summer. I call it: Kool-Aid. I have also just been informed that that's what everyone else calls it too, but I don't think that detracts from the unheralded wonders contained therein.

Before I begin, I recognize that Kool-Aid isn't a Summer drink, per se. It's equally as delicious during the winter times, but I don't think I would be too far off when I assume that the majority of people in this techno-frenzied world (that time I did mean the music) would generally associate it with Summer time.

What is it that makes this liquid refreshment so...refreshmenting? It's possible that it's the extremely artificial flavoring. It's possible that it's the fact that I can always justify drinking it because, hey, all it is flavored sugar water, or possibly because it has like 10^5 ppm of sugar in it (yes, I know that's basically impossible. It's called 'hyperbole,' you uncultured swine.) Sure, it could be any of those, but there's a greater reason behind it all. I like to call it "the unifying power of Kool-Aid" (I've never called it that before.) Let me explain.

The world that we live in is ridden with differences. Things that always have the vast potential of tearing everyone apart. Many have been seeking a way to bring us all together. Some people think the solution is music. Sure, types of music transcend race or demographic differences (Not Rap. I know a lot of white folk like rap, but I like to think of rap more as a subtle recruitment technique employed by a series of organizations who want us to think they're dumb and uneducated, but in fact they're some of the trickiest individuals present on earth. How's THAT for a conspiracy theory?!) I think the solution is much more simple. Yes, my friends, Kool-Aid.

Having served a mission in Detroit, I know it's very popular amongst certain peoples. I also know that wealthy tend to stray from it in an effort to find a more...organic...solution, or some other garbage. Let me say this: there are very few things more organic than sugar and water....and hundreds of artificially produced flavoring agents. Well, at least the first two things were organic. I think that's a pretty good ratio considering that 10 years in the future humans are only going to be 2/3 organic anyway (this is referring to the FACT (scientifically proven) that 10 years in the future, we are going to be taken over by a group of super-intelligent cyborgs who have both a knack for the arts AND the destruction of any living thing stubborn enough to oppose their higher plane of thinking.)

Back to Kool-Aid.

I dare you to find me someone who doesn't like it. If you do find someone, drug them up a little and THEN see if they don't like it. That's really all I'm trying to get across. You won't find anyone who fits that mold. Yes, I'm saying that you can not and will not find anyone who, if they don't already like Kool-Aid, also wouldn't like if they were drugged to the point of hallucination and/or lack of self-will. Now that's power.

So, the next time you have a steaming pot of ice-cold Kool-Aid in front of you, don't just pour and drink. Sit back a moment and think about how you very well could be looking at the future. At the same time, don't go so far as to think you're looking into some mystical pensieve that possesses the capabilities of telling the future. Because, as we know, and unlike 2/3 organic cyborg lifeforms, there is no such thing as a future-telling pensieve...just the kind that can show us our memories.

Just remember, in 15 years when we're all hailing our new cyborg cheiftains (as we know, they will seek to adopt the most premier form of government, which is that of Tribal Law), remember what I told you: Kool-Aid made it happen.

Ah, Summer.

Fin.

As an afterthought, I realize that a fair number of people who may read this will not understand that I'm suggesting that Kool-Aid will somehow be transformed into a sort of fuel, which will power these cyborg lifeforms.

As an afterthought to my afterthought, and just in case in fifteen years our cyborg leaders read this, I am in no way suggesting that the way to destroy any possibility of cyborg dominance is to rid the world of its supply of Kool-Aid.