Onomatpoeiaeiuouieaopum

In life, there are many things that separate men from women. Many hours have been spent in the process of discovering them, and, in some cases, neutralizing them. I'm of the opinion that it's the differences in the roles of men and women that make the whole system work. Sure, this opinion is largely influenced by religion, but I can't help but apply some of the most logical resources and examples to influence that as well (I'm not going to go into any detail about which resources and examples I'm refering to, partly because that would be a waste of words, and secondly because if I don't cite sources it's a lot easi...harder to prove it wrong.) Now, I'm not intending to offend any, as I understand that certain aspects of the men v. women argument have been known to get a wee bit heated. My purpose in writing this is to simply raise awareness of a lesser known, although not any less important, difference between the two: the ability to make sound effects.

One of the my favorite party games, I have found, goes a little something like this:

Me: Hey, (girl's name), do your best impression of an explosion.
Girl: No, I'm nervous. (After some pushing). Ok. pkhhhhhh. (or boom). (Now, if you've never done this, you won't know how it sounds, so I advise you go out and perform this little experiment. In the rare occurrence that a girl does make a legitmate explosion sound, either marry her on the spot or begin running far, far away. Your choice.)
Naturally, the woman will want to make the guy do the same sound effect, in which he'll say something like this: pchhhewehhehheheeh. Something like that. Just start making the 'kh' sound and include a lot of back-throated phlegm and you should be good.

Now, I don't know if there's any sure-fire scientific explanation as to why males can typically make sound effects better than women. Perhaps it stems largely from the upbringing, given that males tend to gravitate towards a certain type of video game (or video games at all), while the girls are developing social skills or some other useless personality trait. I don't know if it has anything to do with a level of imagination which a young'un develops. I don't know if it has anything to do with how influenced a child is by "the streets." Perhaps it's just one of the anomalies in life (like how they get those BUBBLES INTO SODA!)

Personally, I'm inclined to believe it's simply a matter of exposure and mimicry. It's fairly obvious that if you know what a gun shot sounds like, your chances of recreating it increase dramatically. So, if you have been somewhere where gun shots abound, you could recreate them. Now, I'm not saying that if you're around a lot of gunfire, you, too, should fire guns...especially not at other people. Murder is bad. I just need to get that out of my system.

So if you, or anyone you know, has a desire to expand their ability to recreate certain noises, exposure is the best option. Put gun shot noises on your iPod and listen to them while at work. Heck, even practice a little. Sure, people might think you're going crazy, but it's entirely possible that they thought that anyway. Science says that the most fundamental sound effect for one to learn is the gun shot. Everything else stems from there. Just remember me in thirty years when you're doing it for a living...because I'll probably still be sitting...right here...writing about sound effects again.